1. Happy endings are few and far between in MMA. Hell, aside from Khabib Nurmagomedov and Georges St-Pierre, there aren’t really many great examples that come to mind. You know who shouldn’t have made the list? Nathan Diaz. Heading into UFC 279 fight week, anyone paying attention knew the score. Stockton’s fighting pride, the UFC’s eternal thorn in the side, the superstar who doesn’t move the needle, was going to be fed to the machine on his way out, a sacrifice on the altar of Khamzat Chimaev for having the gall to try to do right by himself. Huge odds as odd as 10-to-1 were posted online, and terms like “attempted murder” were thrown around willfully. It was all so blatant, so vulgar. However, we all collectively shook our heads and understood: This is the way it has to be. When it comes to the UFC, the house always wins. Except the house didn’t win on Saturday. If only for one night, a fighter beat the machine at its own game. That old Diaz magic at work. Chimaev’s dramatic weight loss on Friday opened the door for a 37-year-old OG to pull off an impossibly perfect escape — one so pristine it would have felt absurd just 72 hours ago — and Diaz didn’t miss a beat. He bent and twisted and used the chaos surrounding UFC 279 in exactly the kind of send-off he deserved after 15 years of service in the UFC, most of which he spent underpaid and underpaid. Bending out the door with a fully locked guillotine and barely a scratch on his face? Nah, that should never have been the plan, but the MMA gods work in mysterious ways. Diaz is now a free man who has won a pay-per-view, who will draw more attention than any free agent to ever hit the market in MMA history, and it’s not particularly close. After all the trivia, after all the tough layoffs and contract letters and endless legal services, he finally made it to his promised land — and he didn’t have to put himself or his health at risk to get there. It’s a beautiful thing. Of course, this is not goodbye. Far from it. Wherever he ends up next, Diaz is set to hit one – if not many – of the biggest paydays of his career. Jake Paul will probably be involved in one of those, but who knows where else this could go? Remember, 209 is about getting into the promotion game. Perhaps there is an eventual co-promotion down the road between Real Fight, Inc. and McGregor Sports & Entertainment; Nothing is off the table now. That was going to be the case no matter what happened at UFC 279, but if Saturday’s laugh at a post-fight press conference was any indication, things were a little sweeter when the mischief in the house was averted and the little one came out unscathed. A proper way to go out. Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC
  2. Love him or hate him, Khamzat Chimaev remains one of the most feared fighters in the whole damn sport. The 28-year-old contender was an irreverent jerk for much of the UFC 279 experience. He started fights with everyone up front. He showed disdain for the fans at many turns. He missed weight for an entire segment and was completely nonchalant about it, to the point that even Joe Rogan was taken aback by his incoherence in his post-match interview. Overall, he probably leaves UFC 279 as MMA’s new No. 1 villain. But guess what? None of that matters, because once he steps foot in the cage, the man is a straight-up demon. Chimaev ran through Kevin Holland like it was the easiest task in the world. His effortless two-minute submission marked the fourth time in Chimaev’s UFC career that he won without landing a significant blow. In fact, Holland did absolutely nothing. This is not an exaggeration. Look at the FightMetric stats: Zero strike attempts, zero takedown attempts, zero control time. Nanda. Completely empty. Take the Gilbert Burns brawl out of the equation, and Chimaev has now been hit with just one — I repeat, ONE (1) — significant blow in his five other UFC wins. All of this is absurd no matter how you slice it. After the last few days’ s-show, there is a very real concern around the UFC about Chimaev’s ability to make the 170-pound welterweight championship with any kind of consistency. Chimaev created this problem for himself and these questions will follow him until he can prove time and time again that he belongs in the weight class. But regardless of the division, it feels inevitable that he’s destined to hold some sort of UFC gold. Any plans for Chimaev to fight the winner of Leon Edwards vs. Kamaru Usman 3 went out the window with the way he acted last week, so there are only two obvious fights to be made depending on how the UFC feels about his weight : Either Colby Covington or Robert Whittaker, for the No. 1 contender in whatever weight class he’s next. Do it, UFC.
  3. Li Jingliang got punched harder than anyone by UFC 279’s Switcheroo Six, didn’t get to show off his fancy new suit, fought a man 10 pounds heavier than him in one day – a man with a completely different skill set and far less sexy name than his original opponent — and yet he almost won. There’s been a lot of talk about gangsters this week, but Jingliang? This is a real gangster. Here’s hoping the UFC compensates him for the win bonus he probably deserved in his split decision against Daniel Rodriguez on Saturday, because lord knows the man has earned every penny the UFC can throw at him after his ordeal the last few days. Seriously, look at this suit. Photo by Chris Unger/Zuffa LLC
  4. Irene Aldana’s liver KO of Macy Chiasson was absolutely sick. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it — almost like an ax with the trajectory that threw it. Even the UFC commentary desk and the Las Vegas crowd didn’t seem to understand what happened before the replays. Brutal things. The women’s bantamweight division is in desperate need of a contender worthy of stepping up for Amanda Nunes, and Aldana having her way with an opponent like Chiasson for seven straight minutes might have been enough to convince the UFC that she’s the next woman. I still favor a path to Nunes vs. Shechenko 3, but if Valentina Shevchenko isn’t interested, Nunes vs. Aldana wouldn’t be the worst consolation prize. Looks like a new candidate. I mean 2 new contenders. Congratulations to both of you. #ufc279 — Amanda Nunes (@Amanda_Leoa) September 11, 2022
  5. Is it possible for Johnny Walker to be fun again? I’m cautiously optimistic after his four-minute fling with Ion Cutelaba. The former contender was on borrowed time entering UFC 279, a loser of four of his last five who looked nothing like the carefree madman who came just one fight away from challenging Jon Jones in the early stages of his career in the UFC. Between bad losses and completely lackluster performances, Walker’s move to SBG Ireland to work under manager John Kavanagh had seemingly neutered the attributes that made the light heavyweight so interesting. But Walker’s interview last week with my friend Guilherme Cruz? Eye opening, to say the least. It’s not uncommon for struggling athletes to grope around in the dark, looking for anyone to blame for their downward spiral. But Walker’s account of three years of accidental drugs — he claims he’s “extremely allergic” to THC — was chilling. Paranoia, panic attacks, schizophrenic episodes, visions of aliens experimenting on him — Walker said he’s dealt with it all. He even turned to the topic after the match. The 30-year-old Brazilian is the only one to know how much of that rhetoric is real and how much is embellished, but it’s been nearly three years since Walker looked as good as he did on Saturday, so if this is a clear eye Johnnie Walker is capable of, that is good news for a 205-pound division that is forever in need of exciting young contenders.
  6. I am officially demanding that the UFC open up a heavyweight division so that Chris Barnett can claim the championship he deserves, because the man is very pleased. Not only did his big fight with Jake Collier wake up a UFC 279 undercard that had barely been drawing water up until that point, Barnett also pulled off one of the craziest comebacks of the year, rallying to knock out Collier with a second-round salvo, then cutting a heartfelt promo and dancing out of the arena under a shower of booze. All this despite his left eye being bruised and his jaw almost on the floor. In the end, it was one of the most memorable scenes of the weekend, the kind of feel-good moment rarely afforded by combat sports that leaves everyone smiling for five minutes afterward without even realizing it. I mean, look at this man! Look how much fun he is having! How can you not love it?? (Note that this is the same great big boy that gave us this gem last year.) Considering the personal turmoil Barnett has had to overcome in 2022 — his wife and mother of his two children tragically died this summer — there are few people in MMA more deserving of this type of celebration. So we can let “Huggy Bear” air on (or around) every game week…